So you wanna be a Kiwi? March 9, 2000
New Zealanders, better known as Kiwis, are a hearty, adventuresome breed. While in school, students are all required to do an hour of athletic activity every day, and most adults participate in some sort of sport. Lawn bowling, rugby, cricket and golf are the major sports covered on TV. But the place is filled with bicyclists, backpackers and yes, joggers.
Dick and I really like New Zealand, so we decided to figure out what might be required to become a Kiwi. Here it is, as best we can tell.
Hike and kayak the Abel Tasman Track. This 5-day adventure includes plenty of sea kayaking and hiking along New Zealand’s most beautiful beaches. Some of the beach hiking is only passable at low tide, so plan this trek well.
Build
a track. There are lots and lots of tracks (hiking paths) in New
Zealand. They are usually hacked out of "the bush". Then, walking bridges are
built over ravines, walkways laid over swamp land, steps
constructed up and down the steepest portions, and railings planted along
impossibly narrow ledges. Next gravel is wheeled in
to make maintaining the path easier, and markers or plaques with useful
information are set out along the track. Someone builds and maintains
these; I think for the most part, it's just the locals.
So, pick a scenic route to a point of
interest, such as a waterfall, historic sight or lookout point. Then
organize a team to build the track, say over the next 5 to 10 years.
Better yet, plan to do all the work yourself!
Plant some trees. One of New Zealand’s big industries is lumber, a big export item. There are man-made forests everywhere. To be a Kiwi, join one of the planting teams that puts tiny pines onto the almost vertical slopes of one of New Zealand’s many mountains.
Go orienteering. Even school children can find their way out of the woods. Get someone to drop you off by helicopter in the middle of nowhere. Then use a map, your compass and the sun (or stars) to get through the backcountry to the only road out.
Drive the posted speed limit. For some reason, New Zealand speed limits (yes, we know they are in kilometers!) are posted at speeds that are dangerously high (and perhaps even undoable.) This is especially true along many of the winding mountain roads. If you can drive the speed limit, you’re well on your way to being a Kiwi.
Give up tipping. Kiwis just don’t tip, EVER. This one is easy.
Explore the caves at the Source of the Rawika. The Rawika river runs underground through the mountains and resurges at a set of caves near Motueka. A sign posted near the river and cave entrance recommends you let the police (or someone) know if you’re going into the underwater caves. The caves have been mapped up to about 60 yards in, and a helpful map is posted. The cave includes at least 2 areas where you have to dive for 40 or so feet, but there are subterranean areas with breathing space and opportunities to look around, that is if you bring some torches. Still to be explored are many miles of caveland. The water is pretty darn cold, so wear a wetsuit. Also bring lots of air for your diving equipment, and mark your path with a rope so you can find your back out. You can probably name your newly explored cave branch when you’re done.
Help keep the public toilets clean. Be one of the team that somehow ensures that the hundreds of public restrooms are nice places to visit. Some people are doing a great job at this. There are toilets in just about any town of reasonable size, and they are all clean and have TP. Be a Kiwi; help shine those urinals.
Learn to love cricket; I mean really love it. The one-day matches last about 8 hours (up to 50 overs a side). And then there are the test matches, which last 5 days! It’s what’s on TV, and what everyone enjoys and talks about. (Aside from the occasional America’s Cup sailing victory.)
Hike the Milford Track. This five-day hike goes from Lake Te Anua to Milford Sound through rain forests and besides streams and waterfalls. Since much of this track is located in one of the wettest places on the planet, the guidebook says to expect 2 days of rain on the trip (of course sometimes it’s 3 or 4.) Brisk winds are often blowing north from the Antarctic, so it can get quite cold as you slog along. Still, access to the track is totally booked by early spring for the entire summer season!
Toughen up those feet. Kiwis often walk around barefoot. School kids jog around the school yard barefoot, adults go shopping barefoot, and you CAN get service without shoes in New Zealand. It’s just a little painful as you turn your soft soles to leather.
Slow down. Kiwis all seem to have enough time to stop and talk, be it the sales person at a store, the fellow behind the hotel desk, or the gas station attendant. They are friendly group, so you have to unlearn what your momma taught you. Start by saying "hello" to strangers.
The extroverted, adventuresome, outdoors-loving Kiwis are a wonderful folk. We’re thinking it might well be worth undertaking all of the above to become one!