The
Fab Four -- that's what Naomi likes to call us. Naomi, Astrid, Evelyn and
I (from right to left, Hebrew style) have been friends since the 4th grade. Forget the math, it's a
LONG
time. Four Weddings for the Fab Four March 30, 2001
The
Fab Four -- that's what Naomi likes to call us. Naomi, Astrid, Evelyn and
I (from right to left, Hebrew style) have been friends since the 4th grade. Forget the math, it's a
LONG
time.
These friends know me well. They know the me of today, the retired, happily married, homeless wanderer. They know the me of years ago -- student, chemist, patent agent, Chevroid. And they know the youthful me who was an independent little girl, then a bright, sexy teenager, and eventually a bridesmaid at their weddings.
The four of us usually meet for a long weekend every year or two. But over the last 9 months we celebrated four joyous get-togethers, each of the other "girls" hosting a wedding. Evelyn -- always the most exuberant -- had two; thanks for carrying my load!
Jewish weddings have changed since we were kids. They're gotten even MORE extravagant, and the wedding has turned into a weekend event. Actually, Naomi's daughter's wedding lasted four! heavenly days -- as we lounged around the pools and beach at the Malliouhana Hotel on the island of Anguilla in the Caribbean. More earth-bound weddings last two or three days, at least for us out-of-towners. We get to enjoy a rehearsal dinner the night before, a smorgasbord of appetizers and a sit-down dinner after the ceremony, and a brunch the next day. Enough food to easily gain 5 lbs. It's clear everyone agrees with the comic who recently quipped: "I don't know very much about Jews. But I do know that they have to eat every hour.., or they die."
Recent weddings have been filled with glimpses into the families, friendships, and relationship of the happy couple. There are loving, heartfelt speeches by proud parents; humorous and appreciative remarks and gifts by siblings and friends, and an occasional sharing of hopes and dreams by the bride and groom through speeches or readings by the rabbi. Makes one feel privileged to know these folks and be sharing their simcha.
Today's
weddings no longer seem to be about parents letting go of their children. These
"kids" are older, having long ago left the nest to attend college. The four brides and grooms are well educated -- a doctor, a nurse, two lawyers, a guidance counselor, two
entrepreneurs and a young turk of venture capital. Some are already quite successful. Moreover,
these couples have all lived together and tested out married life. The
parents have, for the most part, "let go" long ago.
Weddings today are more about the kids themselves and about joining families together. Our generation, children of Holocaust survivors, have few living relatives; we want to not only gain a son or daughter, but we also want to welcome the in-laws into our lives. We're happy to have an extended family.
As for the Fab Four, we've been family for as long as I can remember. As we celebrate the next generation beginning their married life--those kids we saw or heard about for so many years--we also recall our own weddings: our youth together, infused with the promise and excitement of love and new beginnings. To my chosen sisters and their now greater families: Congratulations and Mazel Tov!